He had worked himself into a state of great excitement, but hechecked it, took two or three short breaths, swallowed as often,and stretching out his hand towards me said, in a reassuringmanner, "I ain't a-going to be low, dear boy!"

He had so heated himself that he took out his handkerchief andwiped his face and head and neck and hands, before he could go on.

"I had said to Compeyson that I'd smash that face of his, and Iswore Lord smash mine! to do it. We was in the same prison-ship,but I couldn't get at him for long, though I tried. At last I comebehind him and hit him on the cheek to turn him round and get asmashing one at him, when I was seen and seized. The black-hole ofthat ship warn't a strong one, to a judge of black-holes that couldswim and dive. I escaped to the shore, and I was a hiding among thegraves there, envying them as was in 'em and all over, when I firstsee my boy!"

He regarded me with a look of affection that made him almostabhorrent to me again, though I had felt great pity for him.

"By my boy, I was giv to understand as Compeyson was out on themmarshes too. Upon my soul, I half believe he escaped in his terror,to get quit of me, not knowing it was me as had got ashore. Ihunted him down. I smashed his face. 'And now,' says I 'as theworst thing I can do, caring nothing for myself, I'll drag youback.' And I'd have swum off, towing him by the hair, if it hadcome to that, and I'd a got him aboard without the soldiers.

"Of course he'd much the best of it to the last - his character wasso good. He had escaped when he was made half-wild by me and mymurderous intentions; and his punishment was light. I was put inirons, brought to trial again, and sent for life. I didn't stop forlife, dear boy and Pip's comrade, being here."

"He wiped himself again, as he had done before, and then slowlytook his tangle of tobacco from his pocket, and plucked his pipefrom his button-hole, and slowly filled it, and began to smoke.

"Is he dead?" I asked, after a silence.

"Is who dead, dear boy?"

"Compeyson."

"He hopes I am, if he's alive, you may be sure," with a fiercelook. "I never heerd no more of him."

Herbert had been writing with his pencil in the cover of a book. Hesoftly pushed the book over to me, as Provis stood smoking with hiseyes on the fire, and I read in it:

"Young Havisham's name was Arthur. Compeyson is the man whoprofessed to be Miss Havisham's lover."

I shut the book and nodded slightly to Herbert, and put the bookby; but we neither of us said anything, and both looked at Provisas he stood smoking by the fire.

Chapter 43

Why should I pause to ask how much of my shrinking from Provismight be traced to Estella? Why should I loiter on my road, tocompare the state of mind in which I had tried to rid myself of thestain of the prison before meeting her at the coach-office, withthe state of mind in which I now reflected on the abyss betweenEstella in her pride and beauty, and the returned transport whom Iharboured? The road would be none the smoother for it, the endwould be none the better for it, he would not be helped, nor Iextenuated.

A new fear had been engendered in my mind by his narrative; orrather, his narrative had given form and purpose to the fear thatwas already there. If Compeyson were alive and should discover hisreturn, I could hardly doubt the consequence. That, Compeyson stoodin mortal fear of him, neither of the two could know much betterthan I; and that, any such man as that man had been described tobe, would hesitate to release himself for good from a dreaded enemyby the safe means of becoming an informer, was scarcely to beimagined.

Never had I breathed, and never would I breathe - or so I resolved- a word of Estella to Provis. But, I said to Herbert that before Icould go abroad, I must see both Estella and Miss Havisham. Thiswas when we were left alone on the night of the day when Provistold us his story. I resolved to go out to Richmond next day, and Iwent.

On my presenting myself at Mrs. Brandley's, Estella's maid wascalled to tell that Estella had gone into the country. Where? ToSatis House, as usual. Not as usual, I said, for she had never yetgone there without me; when was she coming back? There was an airof reservation in the answer which increased my perplexity, and theanswer was, that her maid believed she was only coming back at allfor a little while. I could make nothing of this, except that itwas meant that I should make nothing of it, and I went home againin complete discomfiture.

Another night-consultation with Herbert after Provis was gone home(I always took him home, and always looked well about me), led usto the conclusion that nothing should be said about going abroaduntil I came back from Miss Havisham's. In the meantime, Herbertand I were to consider separately what it would be best to say;whether we should devise any pretence of being afraid that he wasunder suspicious observation; or whether I, who had never yet beenabroad, should propose an expedition. We both knew that I had butto propose anything, and he would consent. We agreed that hisremaining many days in his present hazard was not to be thought of.

Next day, I had the meanness to feign that I was under a bindingpromise to go down to Joe; but I was capable of almost any meannesstowards Joe or his name. Provis was to be strictly careful while Iwas gone, and Herbert was to take the charge of him that I hadtaken. I was to be absent only one night, and, on my return, thegratification of his impatience for my starting as a gentleman on agreater scale, was to be begun. It occurred to me then, and as Iafterwards found to Herbert also, that he might be best got awayacross the water, on that pretence - as, to make purchases, or thelike.

Having thus cleared the way for my expedition to Miss Havisham's, Iset off by the early morning coach before it was yet light, and wasout on the open country-road when the day came creeping on, haltingand whimpering and shivering, and wrapped in patches of cloud andrags of mist, like a beggar. When we drove up to the Blue Boarafter a drizzly ride, whom should I see come out under the gateway,toothpick in hand, to look at the coach, but Bentley Drummle!

As he pretended not to see me, I pretended not to see him. It was avery lame pretence on both sides; the lamer, because we both wentinto the coffee-room, where he had just finished his breakfast, andwhere I ordered mine. It was poisonous to me to see him in thetown, for I very well knew why he had come there.

Pretending to read a smeary newspaper long out of date, which hadnothing half so legible in its local news, as the foreign matter ofcoffee, pickles, fish-sauces, gravy, melted butter, and wine, withwhich it was sprinkled all over, as if it had taken the measles ina highly irregular form, I sat at my table while he stood beforethe fire. By degrees it became an enormous injury to me that hestood before the fire, and I got up, determined to have my share ofit. I had to put my hand behind his legs for the poker when I wentup to the fire-place to stir the fire, but still pretended not toknow him.

"Is this a cut?" said Mr. Drummle.

"Oh!" said I, poker in hand; "it's you, is it? How do you do? I waswondering who it was, who kept the fire off."

With that, I poked tremendously, and having done so, planted myselfside by side with Mr. Drummle, my shoulders squared and my back tothe fire.

"You have just come down?" said Mr. Drummle, edging me a little awaywith his shoulder.

"Yes," said I, edging him a little away with my shoulder.

"Beastly place," said Drummle. - "Your part of the country, Ithink?"

"Yes," I assented. "I am told it's very like your Shropshire."

"Not in the least like it," said Drummle.

Here Mr. Drummle looked at his boots, and I looked at mine, and thenMr. Drummle looked at my boots, and I looked at his.

"Have you been here long?" I asked, determined not to yield an inchof the fire.

"Long enough to be tired of it," returned Drummle, pretending toyawn, but equally determined.

"Do you stay here long?"

"Can't say," answered Mr. Drummle. "Do you?"

"Can't say," said I.

I felt here, through a tingling in my blood, that if Mr. Drummle'sshoulder had claimed another hair's breadth of room, I should havejerked him into the window; equally, that if my own shoulder hadurged a similar claim, Mr. Drummle would have jerked me into thenearest box. He whistled a little. So did I.

"Large tract of marshes about here, I believe?" said Drummle.

"Yes. What of that?" said I.

Mr. Drummle looked at me, and then at my boots, and then said, "Oh!"and laughed.

"Are you amused, Mr. Drummle?"

"No," said he, "not particularly. I am going out for a ride in thesaddle. I mean to explore those marshes for amusement.Out-of-the-way villages there, they tell me. Curious littlepublic-houses - and smithies - and that. Waiter!"

"Yes, sir."

"Is that horse of mine ready?"

"Brought round to the door, sir."

"I say. Look here, you sir. The lady won't ride to-day; the weatherwon't do."

"Very good, sir."

"And I don't dine, because I'm going to dine at the lady's."

"Very good, sir."

Then, Drummle glanced at me, with an insolent triumph on hisgreat-jowled face that cut me to the heart, dull as he was, and soexasperated me, that I felt inclined to take him in my arms (as therobber in the story-book is said to have taken the old lady), andseat him on the fire.

One thing was manifest to both of us, and that was, that untilrelief came, neither of us could relinquish the fire. There westood, well squared up before it, shoulder to shoulder and foot tofoot, with our hands behind us, not budging an inch. The horse wasvisible outside in the drizzle at the door, my breakfast was put onthe table, Drummle's was cleared away, the waiter invited me tobegin, I nodded, we both stood our ground.

"Have you been to the Grove since?" said Drummle.

"No," said I, "I had quite enough of the Finches the last time Iwas there."

"Was that when we had a difference of opinion?"

"Yes," I replied, very shortly.

"Come, come! They let you off easily enough," sneered Drummle. "Youshouldn't have lost your temper."

"Mr. Drummle," said I, "you are not competent to give advice on thatsubject. When I lose my temper (not that I admit having done so onthat occasion), I don't throw glasses."

"I do," said Drummle.

After glancing at him once or twice, in an increased state ofsmouldering ferocity, I said:

"Mr. Drummle, I did not seek this conversation, and I don't think itan agreeable one."

"I am sure it's not," said he, superciliously over his shoulder; "Idon't think anything about it."

"And therefore," I went on, "with your leave, I will suggest thatwe hold no kind of communication in future."

"Quite my opinion," said Drummle, "and what I should have suggestedmyself, or done - more likely - without suggesting. But don't loseyour temper. Haven't you lost enough without that?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

"Wai-ter!," said Drummle, by way of answering me.

The waiter reappeared.

"Look here, you sir. You quite understand that the young lady don'tride to-day, and that I dine at the young lady's?"

"Quite so, sir!"

When the waiter had felt my fast cooling tea-pot with the palm ofhis hand, and had looked imploringly at me, and had gone out,Drummle, careful not to move the shoulder next me, took a cigarfrom his pocket and bit the end off, but showed no sign ofstirring. Choking and boiling as I was, I felt that we could not goa word further, without introducing Estella's name, which I couldnot endure to hear him utter; and therefore I looked stonily at theopposite wall, as if there were no one present, and forced myselfto silence. How long we might have remained in this ridiculousposition it is impossible to say, but for the incursion of threethriving farmers - led on by the waiter, I think - who came intothe coffee-room unbuttoning their great-coats and rubbing theirhands, and before whom, as they charged at the fire, we wereobliged to give way.

I saw him through the window, seizing his horse's mane, andmounting in his blundering brutal manner, and sidling and backingaway. I thought he was gone, when he came back, calling for a lightfor the cigar in his mouth, which he had forgotten. A man in adustcoloured dress appeared with what was wanted - I could not havesaid from where: whether from the inn yard, or the street, or wherenot - and as Drummle leaned down from the saddle and lighted hiscigar and laughed, with a jerk of his head towards the coffee-roomwindows, the slouching shoulders and ragged hair of this man, whoseback was towards me, reminded me of Orlick.

Too heavily out of sorts to care much at the time whether it werehe or no, or after all to touch the breakfast, I washed the weatherand the journey from my face and hands, and went out to thememorable old house that it would have been so much the better forme never to have entered, never to have seen.

Chapter 44

In the room where the dressing-table stood, and where the waxcandles burnt on the wall, I found Miss Havisham and Estella; MissHavisham seated on a settee near the fire, and Estella on a cushionat her feet. Estella was knitting, and Miss Havisham was lookingon. They both raised their eyes as I went in, and both saw analteration in me. I derived that, from the look they interchanged.

"And what wind," said Miss Havisham, "blows you here, Pip?"

Title: Great Expectations
Author: Charles Dickens
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