"Oh! dear, how beautiful these are! Well! how delightful!
Do but look, mama, how sweet! I declare they are quite charming;
I could look at them for ever." And then sitting down again,
she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room.
When Lady Middleton rose to go away, Mr. Palmer
rose also, laid down the newspaper, stretched himself
and looked at them all around.
"My love, have you been asleep?" said his wife, laughing.
He made her no answer; and only observed, after again
examining the room, that it was very low pitched,
and that the ceiling was crooked. He then made his bow,
and departed with the rest.
Sir John had been very urgent with them all to
spend the next day at the park. Mrs. Dashwood, who did
not chuse to dine with them oftener than they dined
at the cottage, absolutely refused on her own account;
her daughters might do as they pleased. But they had no
curiosity to see how Mr. and Mrs. Palmer ate their dinner,
and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way.
They attempted, therefore, likewise, to excuse themselves;
the weather was uncertain, and not likely to be good.
But Sir John would not be satisfied--the carriage should
be sent for them and they must come. Lady Middleton too,
though she did not press their mother, pressed them.
Mrs. Jennings and Mrs. Palmer joined their entreaties, all
seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party; and the young
ladies were obliged to yield.
"Why should they ask us?" said Marianne, as soon as they
were gone. "The rent of this cottage is said to be low;
but we have it on very hard terms, if we are to dine
at the park whenever any one is staying either with them,
or with us."
"They mean no less to be civil and kind to us now,"
said Elinor, "by these frequent invitations, than by
those which we received from them a few weeks ago.
The alteration is not in them, if their parties are grown
tedious and dull. We must look for the change elsewhere."
As the Miss Dashwoods entered the drawing-room of the park
the next day, at one door, Mrs. Palmer came running in at
the other, looking as good humoured and merry as before.
She took them all most affectionately by the hand,
and expressed great delight in seeing them again.
"I am so glad to see you!" said she, seating herself
between Elinor and Marianne, "for it is so bad a day I was
afraid you might not come, which would be a shocking thing,
as we go away again tomorrow. We must go, for the Westons
come to us next week you know. It was quite a sudden thing
our coming at all, and I knew nothing of it till the carriage
was coming to the door, and then Mr. Palmer asked me if I
would go with him to Barton. He is so droll! He never
tells me any thing! I am so sorry we cannot stay longer;
however we shall meet again in town very soon, I hope."
They were obliged to put an end to such an expectation.
"Not go to town!" cried Mrs. Palmer, with a laugh,
"I shall be quite disappointed if you do not. I could
get the nicest house in world for you, next door to ours,
in Hanover-square. You must come, indeed. I am sure
I shall be very happy to chaperon you at any time till
I am confined, if Mrs. Dashwood should not like to go
They thanked her; but were obliged to resist all
"Oh, my love," cried Mrs. Palmer to her husband,
who just then entered the room--"you must help me to
persuade the Miss Dashwoods to go to town this winter."
Her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing
to the ladies, began complaining of the weather.
"How horrid all this is!" said he. "Such weather
makes every thing and every body disgusting. Dullness
is as much produced within doors as without, by rain.
It makes one detest all one's acquaintance. What the
devil does Sir John mean by not having a billiard room
in his house? How few people know what comfort is! Sir
John is as stupid as the weather."
The rest of the company soon dropt in.
"I am afraid, Miss Marianne," said Sir John, "you have
not been able to take your usual walk to Allenham today."
Marianne looked very grave and said nothing.
"Oh, don't be so sly before us," said Mrs. Palmer;
"for we know all about it, I assure you; and I admire your
taste very much, for I think he is extremely handsome.
We do not live a great way from him in the country, you know.
Not above ten miles, I dare say."
"Much nearer thirty," said her husband.
"Ah, well! there is not much difference.
I never was at his house; but they say it is a sweet
"As vile a spot as I ever saw in my life,"
said Mr. Palmer.
Marianne remained perfectly silent, though her
countenance betrayed her interest in what was said.
"Is it very ugly?" continued Mrs. Palmer--"then it
must be some other place that is so pretty I suppose."
When they were seated in the dining room, Sir John
observed with regret that they were only eight all together.
"My dear," said he to his lady, "it is very provoking
that we should be so few. Why did not you ask the Gilberts
to come to us today?"
"Did not I tell you, Sir John, when you spoke to me
about it before, that it could not be done? They dined
with us last."
"You and I, Sir John," said Mrs. Jennings,
"should not stand upon such ceremony."
"Then you would be very ill-bred," cried Mr. Palmer.
"My love you contradict every body," said his wife
with her usual laugh. "Do you know that you are quite rude?"
"I did not know I contradicted any body in calling
your mother ill-bred."
"Ay, you may abuse me as you please," said the good-natured
old lady, "you have taken Charlotte off my hands, and cannot
give her back again. So there I have the whip hand of you."
Charlotte laughed heartily to think that her
husband could not get rid of her; and exultingly said,
she did not care how cross he was to her, as they must
live together. It was impossible for any one to be more
thoroughly good-natured, or more determined to be happy
than Mrs. Palmer. The studied indifference, insolence,
and discontent of her husband gave her no pain;
and when he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted.
"Mr. Palmer is so droll!" said she, in a whisper,
to Elinor. "He is always out of humour."
Elinor was not inclined, after a little observation,
to give him credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly
ill-natured or ill-bred as he wished to appear.
His temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding,
like many others of his sex, that through some unaccountable
bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly
woman,--but she knew that this kind of blunder was too
common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it.--
It was rather a wish of distinction, she believed,
which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body,
and his general abuse of every thing before him.
It was the desire of appearing superior to other people.
The motive was too common to be wondered at; but the means,
however they might succeed by establishing his superiority
in ill-breeding, were not likely to attach any one to him
except his wife.
"Oh, my dear Miss Dashwood," said Mrs. Palmer soon afterwards,
"I have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister.
Will you come and spend some time at Cleveland this
Christmas? Now, pray do,--and come while the Westons are
with us. You cannot think how happy I shall be! It will
be quite delightful!--My love," applying to her husband,
"don't you long to have the Miss Dashwoods come to Cleveland?"
"Certainly," he replied, with a sneer--"I came
into Devonshire with no other view."
"There now,"--said his lady, "you see Mr. Palmer
expects you; so you cannot refuse to come."
They both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation.
"But indeed you must and shall come. I am sure you
will like it of all things. The Westons will be with us,
and it will be quite delightful. You cannot think
what a sweet place Cleveland is; and we are so gay now,
for Mr. Palmer is always going about the country canvassing
against the election; and so many people came to dine
with us that I never saw before, it is quite charming! But,
poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him! for he is forced
to make every body like him."
Elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she
assented to the hardship of such an obligation.
"How charming it will be," said Charlotte, "when he
is in Parliament!--won't it? How I shall laugh! It will
be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him
with an M.P.--But do you know, he says, he will never frank
for me? He declares he won't. Don't you, Mr. Palmer?"
Mr. Palmer took no notice of her.
"He cannot bear writing, you know," she continued--
"he says it is quite shocking."
"No," said he, "I never said any thing so irrational.
Don't palm all your abuses of languages upon me."
"There now; you see how droll he is. This is always
the way with him! Sometimes he won't speak to me for half
a day together, and then he comes out with something
so droll--all about any thing in the world."
She surprised Elinor very much as they returned
into the drawing-room, by asking her whether she did
not like Mr. Palmer excessively.