Nor was this all; one would have fancied the ass understood whatSancho said, because that moment he began to bray so loudly that thewhole cave rang again.

"Famous testimony!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "I know that bray as wellas if I was its mother, and thy voice too, my Sancho. Wait while Igo to the duke's castle, which is close by, and I will bring someone to take thee out of this pit into which thy sins no doubt havebrought thee."

"Go, your worship," said Sancho, "and come back quick for God'ssake; for I cannot bear being buried alive any longer, and I'm dyingof fear."

Don Quixote left him, and hastened to the castle to tell the dukeand duchess what had happened Sancho, and they were not a littleastonished at it; they could easily understand his having fallen, fromthe confirmatory circumstance of the cave which had been inexistence there from time immemorial; but they could not imagine howhe had quitted the government without their receiving any intimationof his coming. To be brief, they fetched ropes and tackle, as thesaying is, and by dint of many hands and much labour they drew upDapple and Sancho Panza out of the darkness into the light of day. Astudent who saw him remarked, "That's the way all bad governors shouldcome out of their governments, as this sinner comes out of thedepths of the pit, dead with hunger, pale, and I suppose without afarthing."

Sancho overheard him and said, "It is eight or ten days, brothergrowler, since I entered upon the government of the island they gaveme, and all that time I never had a bellyful of victuals, no not foran hour; doctors persecuted me and enemies crushed my bones; nor had Iany opportunity of taking bribes or levying taxes; and if that bethe case, as it is, I don't deserve, I think, to come out in thisfashion; but 'man proposes and God disposes;' and God knows what isbest, and what suits each one best; and 'as the occasion, so thebehaviour;' and 'let nobody say "I won't drink of this water;"' and'where one thinks there are flitches, there are no pegs;' God knows mymeaning and that's enough; I say no more, though I could."

"Be not angry or annoyed at what thou hearest, Sancho," said DonQuixote, "or there will never be an end of it; keep a safeconscience and let them say what they like; for trying to stopslanderers' tongues is like trying to put gates to the open plain.If a governor comes out of his government rich, they say he has been athief; and if he comes out poor, that he has been a noodle and ablockhead."

"They'll be pretty sure this time," said Sancho, "to set me down fora fool rather than a thief."

Thus talking, and surrounded by boys and a crowd of people, theyreached the castle, where in one of the corridors the duke and duchessstood waiting for them; but Sancho would not go up to see the dukeuntil he had first put up Dapple in the stable, for he said he hadpassed a very bad night in his last quarters; then he went upstairs tosee his lord and lady, and kneeling before them he said, "Because itwas your highnesses' pleasure, not because of any desert of my own,I went to govern your island of Barataria, which 'I entered naked, andnaked I find myself; I neither lose nor gain.' Whether I have governedwell or ill, I have had witnesses who will say what they think fit.I have answered questions, I have decided causes, and always dyingof hunger, for Doctor Pedro Recio of Tirteafuera, the island andgovernor doctor, would have it so. Enemies attacked us by night andput us in a great quandary, but the people of the island say they cameoff safe and victorious by the might of my arm; and may God givethem as much health as there's truth in what they say. In short,during that time I have weighed the cares and responsibilitiesgoverning brings with it, and by my reckoning I find my shoulderscan't bear them, nor are they a load for my loins or arrows for myquiver; and so, before the government threw me over I preferred tothrow the government over; and yesterday morning I left the islandas I found it, with the same streets, houses, and roofs it had whenI entered it. I asked no loan of anybody, nor did I try to fill mypocket; and though I meant to make some useful laws, I made hardlyany, as I was afraid they would not be kept; for in that case it comesto the same thing to make them or not to make them. I quitted theisland, as I said, without any escort except my ass; I fell into apit, I pushed on through it, until this morning by the light of thesun I saw an outlet, but not so easy a one but that, had not heavensent me my master Don Quixote, I'd have stayed there till the end ofthe world. So now my lord and lady duke and duchess, here is yourgovernor Sancho Panza, who in the bare ten days he has held thegovernment has come by the knowledge that he would not give anythingto be governor, not to say of an island, but of the whole world; andthat point being settled, kissing your worships' feet, and imitatingthe game of the boys when they say, 'leap thou, and give me one,' Itake a leap out of the government and pass into the service of mymaster Don Quixote; for after all, though in it I eat my bread in fearand trembling, at any rate I take my fill; and for my part, so long asI'm full, it's all alike to me whether it's with carrots or withpartridges."

Here Sancho brought his long speech to an end, Don Quixote havingbeen the whole time in dread of his uttering a host of absurdities;and when he found him leave off with so few, he thanked heaven inhis heart. The duke embraced Sancho and told him he was heartily sorryhe had given up the government so soon, but that he would see thathe was provided with some other post on his estate less onerous andmore profitable. The duchess also embraced him, and gave orders thathe should be taken good care of, as it was plain to see he had beenbadly treated and worse bruised.

CHAPTER LVI

OF THE PRODIGIOUS AND UNPARALLELED BATTLE THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEENDON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA AND THE LACQUEY TOSILOS IN DEFENCE OF THEDAUGHTER OF DONA RODRIGUEZ

The duke and duchess had no reason to regret the joke that hadbeen played upon Sancho Panza in giving him the government; especiallyas their majordomo returned the same day, and gave them a minuteaccount of almost every word and deed that Sancho uttered or didduring the time; and to wind up with, eloquently described to them theattack upon the island and Sancho's fright and departure, with whichthey were not a little amused. After this the history goes on to saythat the day fixed for the battle arrived, and that the duke, afterhaving repeatedly instructed his lacquey Tosilos how to deal withDon Quixote so as to vanquish him without killing or wounding him,gave orders to have the heads removed from the lances, telling DonQuixote that Christian charity, on which he plumed himself, couldnot suffer the battle to be fought with so much risk and danger tolife; and that he must be content with the offer of a battlefield onhis territory (though that was against the decree of the holy Council,which prohibits all challenges of the sort) and not push such anarduous venture to its extreme limits. Don Quixote bade his excellencearrange all matters connected with the affair as he pleased, as on hispart he would obey him in everything. The dread day, then, havingarrived, and the duke having ordered a spacious stand to be erectedfacing the court of the castle for the judges of the field and theappellant duennas, mother and daughter, vast crowds flocked from allthe villages and hamlets of the neighbourhood to see the novelspectacle of the battle; nobody, dead or alive, in those partshaving ever seen or heard of such a one.

The first person to enter the-field and the lists was the masterof the ceremonies, who surveyed and paced the whole ground to see thatthere was nothing unfair and nothing concealed to make thecombatants stumble or fall; then the duennas entered and seatedthemselves, enveloped in mantles covering their eyes, nay even theirbosoms, and displaying no slight emotion as Don Quixote appeared inthe lists. Shortly afterwards, accompanied by several trumpets andmounted on a powerful steed that threatened to crush the wholeplace, the great lacquey Tosilos made his appearance on one side ofthe courtyard with his visor down and stiffly cased in a suit of stoutshining armour. The horse was a manifest Frieslander, broad-backed andflea-bitten, and with half a hundred of wool hanging to each of hisfetlocks. The gallant combatant came well primed by his master theduke as to how he was to bear himself against the valiant DonQuixote of La Mancha; being warned that he must on no account slayhim, but strive to shirk the first encounter so as to avoid the riskof killing him, as he was sure to do if he met him full tilt. Hecrossed the courtyard at a walk, and coming to where the duennaswere placed stopped to look at her who demanded him for a husband; themarshal of the field summoned Don Quixote, who had already presentedhimself in the courtyard, and standing by the side of Tosilos headdressed the duennas, and asked them if they consented that DonQuixote of La Mancha should do battle for their right. They saidthey did, and that whatever he should do in that behalf theydeclared rightly done, final and valid. By this time the duke andduchess had taken their places in a gallery commanding theenclosure, which was filled to overflowing with a multitude ofpeople eager to see this perilous and unparalleled encounter. Theconditions of the combat were that if Don Quixote proved the victorhis antagonist was to marry the daughter of Dona Rodriguez; but ifhe should be vanquished his opponent was released from the promisethat was claimed against him and from all obligations to givesatisfaction. The master of the ceremonies apportioned the sun tothem, and stationed them, each on the spot where he was to stand.The drums beat, the sound of the trumpets filled the air, the earthtrembled under foot, the hearts of the gazing crowd were full ofanxiety, some hoping for a happy issue, some apprehensive of anuntoward ending to the affair, and lastly, Don Quixote, commendinghimself with all his heart to God our Lord and to the lady Dulcineadel Toboso, stood waiting for them to give the necessary signal forthe onset. Our lacquey, however, was thinking of something verydifferent; he only thought of what I am now going to mention.

It seems that as he stood contemplating his enemy she struck himas the most beautiful woman he had ever seen all his life; and thelittle blind boy whom in our streets they commonly call Love had nomind to let slip the chance of triumphing over a lacquey heart, andadding it to the list of his trophies; and so, stealing gently uponhim unseen, he drove a dart two yards long into the poor lacquey'sleft side and pierced his heart through and through; which he was ableto do quite at his ease, for Love is invisible, and comes in andgoes out as he likes, without anyone calling him to account for whathe does. Well then, when they gave the signal for the onset ourlacquey was in an ecstasy, musing upon the beauty of her whom he hadalready made mistress of his liberty, and so he paid no attention tothe sound of the trumpet, unlike Don Quixote, who was off theinstant he heard it, and, at the highest speed Rocinante was capableof, set out to meet his enemy, his good squire Sancho shouting lustilyas he saw him start, "God guide thee, cream and flower ofknights-errant! God give thee the victory, for thou hast the righton thy side!" But though Tosilos saw Don Quixote coming at him henever stirred a step from the spot where he was posted; and instead ofdoing so called loudly to the marshal of the field, to whom when hecame up to see what he wanted he said, "Senor, is not this battle todecide whether I marry or do not marry that lady?" "Just so," wasthe answer. "Well then," said the lacquey, "I feel qualms ofconscience, and I should lay a-heavy burden upon it if I were toproceed any further with the combat; I therefore declare that Iyield myself vanquished, and that I am willing to marry the lady atonce."

The marshal of the field was lost in astonishment at the words ofTosilos; and as he was one of those who were privy to thearrangement of the affair he knew not what to say in reply. DonQuixote pulled up in mid career when he saw that his enemy was notcoming on to the attack. The duke could not make out the reason whythe battle did not go on; but the marshal of the field hastened to himto let him know what Tosilos said, and he was amazed and extremelyangry at it. In the meantime Tosilos advanced to where DonaRodriguez sat and said in a loud voice, "Senora, I am willing to marryyour daughter, and I have no wish to obtain by strife and fightingwhat I can obtain in peace and without any risk to my life."

The valiant Don Quixote heard him, and said, "As that is the caseI am released and absolved from my promise; let them marry by allmeans, and as 'God our Lord has given her, may Saint Peter add hisblessing.'"

The duke had now descended to the courtyard of the castle, and goingup to Tosilos he said to him, "Is it true, sir knight, that youyield yourself vanquished, and that moved by scruples of conscienceyou wish to marry this damsel?"

"It is, senor," replied Tosilos.

"And he does well," said Sancho, "for what thou hast to give tothe mouse, give to the cat, and it will save thee all trouble."

Tosilos meanwhile was trying to unlace his helmet, and he beggedthem to come to his help at once, as his power of breathing wasfailing him, and he could not remain so long shut up in thatconfined space. They removed it in all haste, and his lacquey featureswere revealed to public gaze. At this sight Dona Rodriguez and herdaughter raised a mighty outcry, exclaiming, "This is a trick! This isa trick! They have put Tosilos, my lord the duke's lacquey, upon us inplace of the real husband. The justice of God and the king againstsuch trickery, not to say roguery!"

"Do not distress yourselves, ladies," said Don Quixote; "for this isno trickery or roguery; or if it is, it is not the duke who is atthe bottom of it, but those wicked enchanters who persecute me, andwho, jealous of my reaping the glory of this victory, have turned yourhusband's features into those of this person, who you say is a lacqueyof the duke's; take my advice, and notwithstanding the malice of myenemies marry him, for beyond a doubt he is the one you wish for ahusband."

Title: Don Quixote
Author: Miqeul de Cervantes
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